Hot Dog Evolution

We chose to take part in the long standing tradition of the hot dog bar today in the Magicc Lab.  The first hot dog bar started in the spring of 2007 while at the INL, established with the de facto condiments: ketchup, mustard, relish, and Sour Kraut.  Later that year mayonaise was added to the condiment canon. This year, beyond the sheer joy of partaking of hot dog goodness, we also investigated the evolutionary history of the dog.   Look below to see the four major stages of hot dog evolution:

  1. Emerging from the sea of primordial null dog soup, the basic frank emerged, exhibiting little taste or desirable texture.  These dogs have been given the name sawdust dog (SD), or just plain wiener.  This basic life form has survived deserved extinction for eons because of its low market price.
  2. Slight evolution spawned the Oscar Meyer Beef frank, a $5/pack dog with barely noticeable improvements over the SD. It is expected – or at least hoped – that this branch will dwindle into extinction soon.
  3. After steady evolution, the SD developed into the present day polish dog. The polish offshoot may optionally include a cheese core, but the basic idea is an infusion of more palatable spices into the same basic link.  Note the baboon buttox and lengthy arms that are crude predecessors to fully evolved bratwurst, below.
  4. The Bratwurst represents the apex of evolution.  Full-bodied taste is carried by its well-developed bipedal frame.  Sporting a refined neck tie and a full smile, this dog looks as good as it tastes.  Other names include heaven-on-a-bun, or the King of Dogs. Some have suggested the name of this species be changed from Bratwurst to BratBest, to better reflect its palatability.

Hot Dog Evolution:

Hot Dog Evolution

Link links:

Travis Millet, pictographer of the dogolution:

http://themilletfamily.blogspot.com/

The Crispy Dog, thanks to Jeff Kennington:

http://www.oakenweld.com/coppermine/thumbnails.php?album=20

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